Once in a Lifetime….

Here is my first trip report of the 2007/08 season and its still only August. Please read and enjoy my tale of paddling North of the border.

If you are easily offended by swearing then best not to read on as I wrote it…. need I say anymore?

Pictures from the Tummel and the Leny can be seen in the Photo Gallery

Ian

Scotland August 2007

 

Many weeks ago a plan was hatched to go to Scotland and run the Tummel, a dam release river in Perthshire. The Tummel is currently undergoing some major repair work and as such is running on full release; way above and beyond its normal levels – this would prove to be a once in a life time opportunity and one not to be missed. The original line up was Dead, Nathan and my good self. With Dead unable to attend the offer of invitation was extended to Mike and Nick who eagerly accepted.

 

 

Friday 17^th August 2007

I work for a living! ItÂ’s what I do and as such I donÂ’t finish work until 6:00pm. The plan was simple everyone meet outside my house at 6:20 with the boats on the car ready to go. What could possible go wrong? Well lets just explain a few small details – Nick had the day off work so he could pack all his kit and be ready, which I believe he was. Then thereÂ’s Mike who finished work at 12:30 so he too could get ready that just leaves Nathan who finished sometime in July so he had 4 Bloody weeks to get his shit together. Well what a gang fuck Friday night was. I knew right from the start that things would go wrong. We had been in the car 20 minutes and instead of heading down the A45 in the direction of the M6 we were actually traveling across the city toward Tesco so that Nathan could order and then pick up the 4 pizzas he had promised us for the trip “What the FUCK – YouÂ’ve been off work all day!! What the fuck have you been doing?” “I didnÂ’t have time.” came the feeble reply. What made things even worse was the fact that we then had to stop for petrol as Mike was yet to fill up the car “What the FUCK – You finished work at 12:30!! What the fuck have you been doing?” I was not a happy bunny. To make matters even worse at approximately 5:15 when I was busy working for a living and my 3 traveling companions were doing absolutely fuck all I received a text message from Nathan which read “Hurry the fuck up!!” The fucking nerve!

 

At this point I was beginning to lose the will to live but after several moments of confusion as to which motorway to take M1 or M6 (fuck me!!!) we finally left Coventry heading north along the M6. The next 300 miles or so passed by without any major problem and we soon arrived in Bonnie Scotland, sometime after crossing the border we noticed that the M74 to Glasgow was closed and that we would have to find our own from through Motherwell. This would be no problem at all as Nathan had brought along his Sat Nav so we could simply follow its handy directions. “What the fuck do you mean you forgot to charge it – you havenÂ’t been to work since fucking July what the fuck have you fucking been doing all fucking day?” After stopping for fuel Mike thought it a good idea to drive down the slip road on the south bound carriageway and send us back to England “What the FuckÂ…Â….!!” After some fancy driving we found ourselves pointing north once more. Nathan began to map read and we began to get lost and lost and lost. “What the fuck are two playing at you useless fucking bastards?”  Nick took over the map reading duties and we finally arrived at TrevorÂ’s house in a wee village just outside Stirling. 

 

Thank fuck for that!

 

 

Saturday 18^th August 2007

Day one and after a hearty breakfast at Morris Morris Morrison’s (in joke) we were off to the mighty Tummel. It was raining hard so the dam release would be topped up by even more water. Our first glimpse of the river came as we drove up along its banks – it was huge, flowing fast and bank full. We were stood looking at the rapid that should have the S bends but with so much water running over them all the rocks were submerged and a completely new rapid had been born. For the first time all weekend I fell silent – deep in thought and anticipation of what was to follow. We were soon all changed and ready for the walk to the rivers edge. With all the rain falling and spray from the dams release pipes the banks were wet and slippery as Nathan soon found out as he fell to the waters edge on his arse with his boat hurtling behind him. We laughed, took photos the normal stuff really.

 

On the water at last and off to the first eddy. We went through the normal safety talk although for once we were pretty certain that we could all look after ourselves in the event of a capsize – but better to be safe than sorry. Off we set Nathan leading the charge as he was the only one to have ever paddled this river before (although not at this level) followed by Mike; then Nick and finally myself. The river was faster than anything we were used to and we soon arrived at the first rapid – a series of long wave trains with waves the size of armchairs. With this rapid behind us the nerves began to settle as we got into the rhythm of the river and confidence returned. We soon arrived at a foot bridge this would signal the last place on the river to stop before the S bends and the mighty and imposing Linn of Tummel. We got here and went to check out the line into the newly formed S bend rapid. After much discussion we were back at our boats and ready for the off.

 

Nick would lead the way followed by myself with Mike and Nathan behind us. Nick’s line over this new rapid was right on the money and both he and I were through this fine. Nick stopped mid stream to ask if I had any idea how far it was to the Linn? – I hadn’t a clue be passed him and paddled off to find out, directly after the S bend rapid stood a rather large and menacing looking stopping with the worlds largest wave and hole all there for good measure. I hit the stopper hard and managed to skirt the edge of the wave. After signaling to Nick to paddle like fuck I headed off in the direction of the Linn and a very ominous horizon line. Fortunately there were a couple of local boaters sitting in an eddy river right above the fall – I joined them much to my relief.

 

It was at this point that I looked back toward Nick who was next to appear, Nick seemed to be shouting something to me, but with the roar of the waterfall behind me and with the helmet on me head I could not hear a thing. Mike then appeared spinning all over the place with a worried look upon his face also shouting “SWIMMER!! SWIMMER!!” I looked around;

I was upright so was Nick and I could still see Mike and in the corner of my eye was an orange boat with someone sitting in it so what the fuck was Mike on about. Then like a right hook from Mike Tyson it hit me – Nathan was swimming. It appears that the other guy I could see in an orange boat was the Scottish fella I was just talking to SHIT! Nathan passed me and headed over the fall right down the main line, there was nothing that anyone could do as to attempt any kind of boat rescue would have endangered another persons life so what would be the point of that. Nathan vanished from view as he was swept down into the swirling cauldron of water that is the Linn. Like a hero from a war film Mike threw himself down the fall immediately after Nathan. My new found Scottish friend said “Och ye nae wanna goo doon that line” or words to that effect. Mike hit the large rock at the top and span round 180 degrees and dropped over the fall backwards. My new Scottish friend Chris said “Aye follow me I’ll show ye the way” Nick and I followed and we were soon down the impressive fall. In front of me was Nathan scrambling onto some rocks with Mikes help. Nathan looked like a bag of shit; he was gasping for air and holding several parts of his body which had all taken a battering on his unceremonious descent of the fall. I reach Mike and Nathan in time to help get the boat back and was just about to get the splits out of my boat when Scottish Chris turned up with Nathan’s paddles in his hands.

 

It would appear that Nathan had paddled into the large stopper and been dragged back down the wave and into the hole of no escape. After several failed rolls and countless loops at the hands of the River Gods Nathan found himself in unfamiliar territory out amongst the fishes. Like ever paddler I have ever met Nathan had become the victim of shoddy workmanship. Would you believe it, in all that water his deck popped off all by its self? ;o) I’ll stand up here and be counted; I have taken a swim on a river and I did pull my deck on that occasion I just with other people could be more honest and admit it, and Nathan being a level 2 coach as well shame on him. To be fair to him I would not have wanted to have taken a swim where he did as he was no more than 50 meters above a 15 – 20 foot 2 tier water fall full of rocks and fast moving water so in his defence maybe just maybe his deck did pop after all.

 

With Nathan safely off the river and the rest of still pumped up and looking for adventure we headed off to a completely new river in the area called The Tilt. This is a tight and technical grade 4 river ideal for a small group such as the 3 of us. It however has one major drawback – a bloody 3 kilometer hike up hill with boats on the shoulders. This is not my idea of fun and I must thank Trevor for his assistance in carrying my boat with me for the first K or so. Nathan and Trevor soon headed off back down the path while the 3 of us headed on up with boats on backs. We finally arrived at the put in and got onto the river. With another foot of water this river would have been awesome however at the level we found it at it was still well worth the effort in getting up there. Tight steep gorge followed tight steep gorge with several drops ledges and slides to negotiate. We worked together like a well oiled machine, taking it in turns to lead the river. Several times we would stop to inspect drops and horizon lines. At each tricky drop we would set up rescues – one would paddle two would protect where ever possible. Once one had paddled we would all move one place along the chain until all 3 of us had ran the falls. We eventually finished the river and headed off to the cars to get changed and head back to Stirling.

 

 

 

Sunday 19^th August 2007

We were woken on Sunday by Trevor and Wife Gill to a cooked breakfast and cup of tea what fantastic hospitality – such a shame that they are moving to New Zealand in a few weeks time. Wait a minute New Zealand!! Cool new paddling destination sorted all we need to do is find £600.00 plus for the flights. Dead get onto it. We said our goodbyes at Trevor’s and headed off to paddle the river Lenny and its imposing falls.

 

At first inspection from the banks the falls look horrendous, the river is strewn with rocs and ever possible line seems to end hitting a roosterÂ’s tail. Some serious boat moving skills would be required. After NathanÂ’s swim down the Linn and the fact that his ankle was now fatter than his belly he would not be able to get into his boat so for the third time this weekend Mike Nick and I would find ourselves on an unfamiliar river. We set off into the rapids with me out in front. The river begins with a few grade 2 rapids all very nice and fluffy, paddling today would be even more enjoyable as the sun was shining down upon us. Quickly the grade began to increase and 2 soon became 3, the fear began to well up inside all of us as soon we would be at the main event. The Falls of Lenny!

 

I saw a large eddy river left and dropped in followed by the others. We got out and walked down to the falls for one final inspection. Standing on the bank this time dressed in our paddling kit the river seemed much easier to read and a clear line became obvious. However there was only ONE clear line down the left hand chute that we had chosen to paddle. We were spending far too long looking at the rapid for my liking – I turned to Nick and said “Fuck it!! Lets get on and do it.” Nick stayed behind with a throw line whilst Mike and I headed off to our boats. If the Shit had hit the fan Nick would have been as much use with a throw line as Nathan is with a map – but somehow it always feels better if you can see someone with a line even if in reality they could do less than Fuck all to help you.

 

I headed into the fall first. Once youÂ’re over the first drop all eyes are on the river, if Nick was standing watching me I had no idea or any sense of his presence, I was in the rapid and on my own. Down the first shoot and into the angled stopper, through the stopper turn right and over the haystack wave. So far so good. BANG!! Big rock hits the side of my boat and IÂ’m stopped dead in my tracks, I spin off and head back into the current onwards toward salvation. BANG!! Another rock this time from the other side this time I go over into the hands of the River God. I roll faster than Nathan could say My deck Popped and IÂ’m back on my way through the last stopper and wave and into the safety of the eddy. Form where I am I can not see MikeÂ’s line at all but like me he also hit the large rock after the fall as too did Nick. Soon all 3 of us are down and sitting in the eddy with huge smiles across our faces. Just one more obstacle in the tiny gorge to tackle a huge rock sitting high out of the water river left as we look down the gorge with an enormous cushion wave that looks like a curtain of water. We head off into the wave hoping to make it through, which we all do without further incident. The rest of the river is fairly continuous grade 3 with a nice surprise in the form of another S bend rapid. The Lenny was fantastic; a short quick blast of a river that keeps you interested the whole way.

 

After this we head off home back to England.

 

You really have to pinch yourself – here we are in August and paddling real rain fed rivers, the sun was shining and it was warm. I love Scotland they have water all year round and access to match. We drove up Friday night, paddled 3 rivers and arrived home by 8:00pm on Sunday evening and all for £30.00 petrol each. Thanks to Nathan we have friends that live in Scotland; we will most defiantly be doing this again.

 

To summaries if I may; I feel really sorry for Nathan he drove all the way to Scotland for a once in a life time opportunity to paddle not only the Tummel at high water but most importantly to paddle the Linn in high water, this was stolen from him when through no fault of his own the water dragged him kicking and screaming out of his boat and Fucked him over the falls. From this moment on his paddling trip was over. The remaining 3 of us however have gained a greater understanding of each others paddling and I for one (and one for all) look forward to paddling very soon with both Mike and Nick as it was a real pleasure to work as A team with them.

 

I am also very proud of the fact that after so many years of ridicule I was not the only one in a BIG boat as all 4 of us were paddling REAL boats.

 

Spray deck popped! – Suck My Balls did it!!!

 

Ian Lynas